The Day of Atonement

Today is Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement. To my recollection, there is no such day in the Christian faith, except to say that one is supposed to atone (or feel that one must) every single day of the year.

Of course, being an agnostic (happily and comfortably so thankyouverymuch), I can choose to observe, or not observe any particular religious holiday in any fashion that I want. This totally rocks.

And so I have decided that in "celebration" of Yom Kippur, I will now issue:


"The 2006 I'm Sorry List"

I'm sorry if I haven't told my family how much I love them enough.

I'm sorry I don't get to spend more time with my friends.

I'm sorry I can't sleep as late as I'd like and still have enough hours in the day to accomplish everything I need to do.

I'm sorry the Republicans are still in power...(for now, VOTE DEMOCRAT!!!)

I'm sorry I'm still fat.

I'm sorry that two sick bastards took themselves out this week, but not before harming innocents, and taking some along with them. If I believed in Hell I'd tell them to rot in it...assholes.

I'm sorry our troops are still in Iraq.

I'm sorry I don't make a six-figure income.

I'm sorry that so many people are suffering around the world, and that I don't do more to help.

I'm sorry that Watchamacallit candy bars added caramel 'lo those many years ago.

I'm sorry I don't change my cats' litter box like I should (eww).

I'm sorry my marriage ended.

I'm sorry that I've probably said some really stupid things this year, and tramped on some people's feelings.

I'm sorry Bill Clinton didn't have more time on Fox News (Note to Democrats... THAT is what your constituents want to see!)

I'm sorry I don't know a martial art.

I'm sorry I didn't win the lottery...yet.

I'm sorry I'm so scattered most of the time.

I'm sorry people can't just leave one another alone.

I'm sorry I don't handle my money as well as I could.

I'm sorry that stupidity is only curable by death.

I'm sorry that my courage often fails me.

I'm sorry if this is boring you.

I'm sorry I don't read more.

I'm sorry my desk is so messy...as is my bedroom...and the kitchen...and the living room...don't even LOOK at the bathroom...

I'm sorry I don't travel more.

I'm sorry our Democratic Leaders (I use the term loosely) aren't going for the jugular. Here are some topics, talk amongst yourselves. War Profiteering, Price Gouging by the Oil Companies, Torture, Misleading "Intelligence" any of these will do!

I'm sorry it has taken me so long to blog again.

I'm sorry that gas prices will jump again once the election is over...what, you don't think we're fooled, do you?

Sigh.

I think that will do it for this year. Feel free to add your own apologies.

Shalom, ya'll.