April Fools Day

I'm seriously beginning to hate this particular day. April 1st, that is. Usually referred to as April Fools Day. My crummy history with this day started in high school, with an ill conceived prank played on my parents. I claimed...loudly...that the floor based heater in my room was on fire. What made me think my parents would have a sense of humor about it, I really don't know. It got me slightly grounded for sure.

The next incident was during my marriage, when for some unknown reason my ex decided to drink heavily and barbecue while his parents were visiting. I spent the afternoon running interference and being generally pissed off.

After that I decided to largely ignore this day, and it worked. Yesterday, it came back with a vengeance. I was in the kitchen fixing myself some lunch when I heard a motorcycle engine revving. Then I hear WHACK! and the sounds of many things skidding across the pavement. My roommate had just left the house, and I went hurrying to the front door. There sat the roomie, safely in the driveway, and looking annoyed at something to my right. I looked to the right, and saw the kid laying in the street.

Shit.

I bolted out the front door and yelled for Katie to call 911. The kid was just starting to move when I reached him. I got down on my knees amidst the broken glass and told him to stay still. He said his ankle was hurt. I asked him if he was having trouble breathing and he said 'no'. I asked him his name, "Mike" was his answer (same as the ex, go figure).

I held his hand and kept him talking until the ambulance showed, which was probably less than four minutes (I'm about three blocks from the fire station). When I moved out of the way, I noticed that the seat of the kid's jeans AND underwear had been completely torn away. Talk about adding insult to injury.

Then I discovered the small cut on the palm of my hand.

But the day wasn't over yet.

I went out with a friend to see Inside Man (very, very good flick, btw). This is at the mall just down the hill. When I arrived the front area was jam-packed with people, most of whom were waiting to see ATL. My friend and I got in with no problem, while the vast majority of folks waiting to see ATL were turned away. Two screens had sold out.

During the movie, a policeman comes in to our theater with a young boy. The kid's parents were sitting behind me and I heard the kid say something about a "big fight". Apparently, an all-out brawl had broken out in the lobby of the theater. When we left, roughly 45 minutes later, we walked outside to a parking lot crawling with people, police, a news crew and helicopters (notice the plural) circling over head. Some folks that were coming out behind us were saying that the police were "locking the place down".

I got home safely, and discovered that the piece of glass that had cut me was STILL IN MY HAND!

So a word of caution, TRUST ME ON THIS: April Fools Day is not just a day for harmless practical jokes, it's a day for idiots to get out and do their worst. Next year, I'm staying home.